I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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