do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
