I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
