She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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