btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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