so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
