Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
