he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
