I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
