Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak

  (1-323): View more from California

  I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole

  (1-323): View more from California

  She's blonde

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak (1-323): I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole (1-323): She's blonde http://tfl.nu/vvom
  Replies (6) Good night (1889) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off. http://tfl.nu/1s60
  Replies (80) Good night (777) Bad night (6593)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits.. http://tfl.nu/aan9
  Replies (91) Good night (4993) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed" http://tfl.nu/ho10
  Replies (132) Good night (5201) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week. http://tfl.nu/uy84
  Replies (6) Good night (4024) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends http://tfl.nu/8jwh
  Replies (7) Good night (2967) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work. http://tfl.nu/czmo
  Replies (7) Good night (3663) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit. http://tfl.nu/4wxu
  Replies (7) Good night (798) Bad night (1979)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them http://tfl.nu/sa9n
  Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live http://tfl.nu/q9p0
  Replies (11) Good night (584) Bad night (1581)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too http://tfl.nu/4c0u
  Replies (8) Good night (1319) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?" http://tfl.nu/s0we
  Replies (4) Good night (569) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner http://tfl.nu/zwav
  Replies (4) Good night (1337) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate. http://tfl.nu/8t7a
  Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (338)

Randomize