I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me