well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.