Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit? http://tfl.nu/h53l
  Replies (19) Good night (1672) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (904) Bad night (4718)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1
  Replies (16) Good night (7108) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate." http://tfl.nu/e62b
  Replies (11) Good night (7050) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car. http://tfl.nu/qc2u
  Replies (3) Good night (1058) Bad night (2381)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car" http://tfl.nu/0yb1
  Replies (7) Good night (2450) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown http://tfl.nu/azzf
  Replies (7) Good night (817) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius! http://tfl.nu/013j
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's? http://tfl.nu/cp3t
  Replies (14) Good night (2513) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age. http://tfl.nu/oer4
  Replies (10) Good night (1043) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy. http://tfl.nu/2dh7
  Replies (7) Good night (455) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED. (1-727): I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information. http://tfl.nu/ag5b
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  YES. ALL MY YES.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries. (1-513): YES. ALL MY YES. http://tfl.nu/gvep
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession. http://tfl.nu/fr3h
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (244)

Randomize