The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
