1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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