Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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