I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
