here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
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Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?