Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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  (517): and trust me i need no booty pop lessons http://tfl.nu/h5fy
  Replies (2) Good night (2061) Bad night (1286)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out

  (513): View more from Ohio

  so is it as big as he says?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit

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  (216): he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out (513): so is it as big as he says? (216): he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit http://tfl.nu/hksl
  Replies (42) Good night (6218) Bad night (785)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.

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  (816): Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy. http://tfl.nu/eso4
  Replies (37) Good night (1048) Bad night (4077)
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3465) Bad night (2206)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us

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  (785): your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us http://tfl.nu/mks6
  Replies (18) Good night (4042) Bad night (981)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm

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  (678): in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm http://tfl.nu/30ts
  Replies (3) Good night (1969) Bad night (1110)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  (407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1610) Bad night (742)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis

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  (850): It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis http://tfl.nu/b0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1428) Bad night (533)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.

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  (281): I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever. http://tfl.nu/j15t
  Replies (5) Good night (2037) Bad night (582)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth

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  (512): We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/5znv
  Replies (5) Good night (634) Bad night (975)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

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  (321): You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again. http://tfl.nu/b1s4
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (1209)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever

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  (716): She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever http://tfl.nu/gnyf
  Replies (8) Good night (1591) Bad night (552)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

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  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1394) Bad night (506)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.

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  (604): He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween. http://tfl.nu/lx69
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (487)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something

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  (630): He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something http://tfl.nu/27wi
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (186)

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