I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
