He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize