His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
