drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
