So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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