I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
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I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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