she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
