At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he shaved USA in his pubs
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
