Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
