??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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