I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
