we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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