So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
