We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
if i died would you start the facebook group?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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