3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
where am i from again
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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