I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize