you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize