My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
