i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize