The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
