Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
