ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
