id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
