Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
