I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
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