Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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