i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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