porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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