I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
