CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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