Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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