it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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