i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
