I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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