Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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