So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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