You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is it because I queefed?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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