Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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