Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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