'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
