There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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