So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They are going to name an STD after you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
