Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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