oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
