I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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