ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
