I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize